Smote!

Caught a cold from girlfriend,am supposed to do Judo tonight and go to a birthday party. Will need crystal me--I javascript:void(0)mean Endorush.

On bowing and wrestling

This is done for a variety of reasons: entering the dojo, stepping on the mat, leaving the dojo, the beginning of class. All of which can be tied to respect, for the dojo for the instructor, for a philosophy. There are also more practical motivations at work. You bow, but you do not take your eyes off an opponent because he could be sneaky, wack you with your head down.
On occasion a Sifu will interrupt a drill between you and a partner, he corrects you, you bow. The bow in this case signals the teacher believes you are worthy of correction to not bow could be construed as a grave insult.

The Wednesday evening class is mutating into a greco-roman/bjj laboratory. More attention to stand up, take-downs, sprawl, cultivating the swim, etc. Then a bjj technique or two and then we roll.
College boy and I started rolling from a standing position. I came close to taking him down. I hit an inside the leg reap but...nothing. The energy was gone, and he got the best of me as always/ The ending though was different.
"You didn't commit. you didn't put your hips into it"
I've been training for a year; this is the first time he's ever given me constructive criticism.

Idle hands

One downside to crossfit, it can really fuck up your hands. I hate callouses, and with these workouts I can't just randomly start picking at them lest I find a blister surprise.

In the end, I did nothing

G's brother helped out, and only G's mom had surgery anyway (sounds like surgery is some sort of party game), so in the end I did nothing

Nothing Really

Biopsy came back negative. But I got drafted into helping 2 middle aged women out of the hospital tomorrow (outpatient surgery). I really hate when my mother (either parent really) oversteps boundaries like that--and how did it end up being TWO women? Have no idea how much time this will take, but looks like I have a round trip ticket upstate tomorrow. Will I be back in time for practice??

G in town

Spent the weekend with girlfriend. We've eaten way too much food. She's going home (her parents' home) tomorrow and SHOULD be back with me this Sat. Her mom is scheduled for an operation tomorrow, provided a biopsy turns up clean (knock wood).

Strawberries part 2 (draft 1)

I interjected, “You know what you should do S? Get a shoebox, decorate it, cut out a slit, make it a Valentine’s box, just like in grade school”. If people wanna ask you out, they can do it this way. No anonymous cards obviously."

“Are you gonna make me a box?” Wrong direction, do not want to go that way. My strategy ? Ignore the comment, press forward, like a double leg take down. You shoot, you commit to the move, don’t aim for the legs, aim for the other side of the room, don’t stop for anything. I watched Sean Sherk take big fat thai knee while shooting for a double leg, his head absorbed everything, but he still shot through, he was going to china, so the force went through the body, didn’t stop at the head, and he scored the take-down, granted, he took five years off his life in the process. My variation didn’t require Alzheimer's. Where was I?

“Are you gonna make me a box?” double leg take-down. Shoot for the other side of the room.

“Oh! You know what else we can get you? Cupcakes! They give you a card, and they leave a cupcake. I tell ya, no valentine’s day I spent as an adult tops the ones in grade school. Love and cupcakes, a few pieces of candy, and more cupcakes!

The Alien Language

College boy noted my wrestling was improving. I thanked him for taking the time to show the class a few moves.

Reverse Lead

I arrived at the dojo feeling good. Even though I’d done Cindy that morning I had the energy for a three hour session at the dojo. I decided to to take the fitness kickboxing class. Over the past few weeks my boxing has broken through a learning plateau. My hook looks like a hook, my cross looks like a cross. My stance itself is better. I’m better at controlling weight distribution through my feet; the legs are turning with the punches. When I want to emphasize power I can do so (with the kickboxing not so much, although I’ve gotten better at using my hips and turning my head off the line). I asked Sifu if he thought I was ready to work in reverse lead, and how to go about doing so. He thought I was ready, suggesting I remind him from time to time on boxing days (work with leftys, work with experienced folks who themselves needed to work reverse leads)

He decided now was as good a time as any so he paired me up with H, who had just passed her first Thai test.

Working reverse lead is like hitting the reset button, as you simply don’t have the muscle memory. To have a solid right lead hook, you must practice the right lead hook, likewise for the left. Knowing one doesn’t mean you know the other, it’s not a transferable skill, but the JKD ethic (and our curriculum demands you learn both). Even though it might be a couple years before I actually have to test this stuff there’s no time like the present (and if it takes as long as my right side I may need these two years).

H didn’t share my enthusiasm for working the left side. As the class progressed she became progressively upset, she wasn’t getting the workout she wanted. We were both equally clumsy, but I was trying to be patient, to look at the big picture. She blamed me for ruining her hour, at least that’s how I was taking it, and I just about had enough. I was being blamed for learning and adaptation, for being challenged. Can’t have that in a dojo. She got cattier and cattier, had we not switched to kickboxing (and leads) there would have been a blow up. Luckily, I didn’t say what was on my mind

“Have you ever been raped? Ever had a gun to your head? How about tortured?

No? Then shut the fuck up and work the combination.” Yeah, sayin’ that would have been bad. I don’t know what the long term result would have been, but suffice to say I think the class might have come to a dead stop.

I stayed for grappling. H didn’t stay for the Thai class.

Strawberries part 1 (draft 1)

I'm waiting for her to make my shake. Strawberry shake with strawberries. I need the fruit. I need the glycogen.

A girl, a former student, walks up to her from the side of the shake counter.
"My brother wanted to ask you something."
"Ok, what?"
"--but he wants to do it on Valentine's Day"
Squirm! Squirm! My admirer was caught flat-footed. I was not, hiding a very large smirk behind my palm. My delight isn't sadistic. It just isn't everyday I watch a proxy clumsily ask a lady out, publicly, while the real object of her affection is a foot away. How would this play out? Would she deftly pirouette around the question, shifting the topic to something more comfortable like sports or clothes? I find this can work if you create a bridge topic, something transitional like in one of those mostly useless five paragraph essays they teach kids in school.
Go completely physical, fire up the heat vision and blast her with a silent rebuke and clenched teeth? Effective, but not exactly the best tactic where stealth is concerned. People (me, me glorious me) are watching.
She could go kitchen sink, cram the air with verbage, until messenger did...something, most likely leave. It's neurotic, but sometimes you gotta scramble for position, take what you can get.
"--wants to do it on Valentines day?"
Fumble!
Rewind. The playback function. It's a sturdy all around listening skill, and a time tested convention of english majors shaken by an essay question on a final exam, usually said question will be pertain to the one and only fact she didn't cover in her epic 3 hour cram session.
So yeah, good all around.
But not here.
She was ambushed, verbally breached in a no no place. (There's a certain psychological protection granted by a high counter and control over money). There are many ways to squash a bad moment, a situation on the downward spiral.
Repeating the phrase that got you there doesn't finish, it only extends the debacle.....

There's this girl....

She's short. Shorter than me, and that's saying a lot, must be 5'2 tops. Can't be older than 19. Pretty smile, has this "face like a silvery moon" thing going on.

Cruel joke 1: She has a crush on me. The same me that's a teacher, the same me that's 30 years--wait, sorry--31 years old. The me that has a girlfriend, and enough emotional baggage to fill a Boeing 747.

I'm her "favorite person" at the gym. She even tried to ask me out, obliquely. I pretended to miss the invitation, obliquely.

I told my girlfriend about her; we've talked about doing a threesome, but this would be like juggling fine crystal, so nothing has come of it.

And 19? Still has growing up to do. I still have growing up to do. Yikes.

Oh Cruel Joke 2: Same name as my sister.
That's about as close as you can get to incest and stay out of jail. Hell, that's creepier than having someone dress up. In other words, eeeewwwww.

Armageddon: hurry it up already!

Funny thing about a blog, unless it's overtly political--and it's the only thing you read--you might not have noticed the world teetering on the the edge of the abyss. The headlines just get worse and worse. Republicans are replete with horrible ideas and obstructionism. Democrats are still pussies bending over backwards to please Republicans at the cost of genuine progress. And the world--or at least the American left--is learning that Obama's "bipartisanship" may not be all it's cracked up to be.

I don't think of myself as a cynic, but I feel like I'm the only one not surprised by these events. Well, Naomi Klein and Paul Krugman saw this coming a mile away, but no one I really know. It's easy to play back seat driver, but given the circumstances Obama's Modus Operandi should have been straightforward: go to the people who were right, fill your cabinet with people who got it right, endorse the allies who got it right, extend your hand to the outsiders who got it right.
Right, btw, means predict the housing crisis, the economic crisis writ large, were a driving force behind the higly successful 50 state strategy, or pegged the Iraq debacle for the clusterfuck it was destined to become." In the current Administration I don't see anyone who did that, in the house and senate leadership, I don't see anyone who did that. All I see is wrong Wrong WRONG.

I haven't seen strong leadership, I haven't seen a media shift from the imbecile talking heads to the public intellectuals (again, Klein and Krugman) who voiced their dissent. Is this it? Is this the best we can do? If that's the case, I'm tired of the teetering, please someone just punt America into the darkness. Let's just go through the fire and brimstone headfirst. Let the chips fall where they may. I'm keen to see what happens to Comcast, ATT, and the like, when folks can't afford cable, digital cable, their phone service, etc. Who will the publc vote for when they realize they have been betrayed by the entire system? Hope is peachy but results still win out in the end. We will witness a war of memes, the most rugged ideas, the ones best suited for the environment will become the victor because, as I said no one will be able to afford cable sooooooooooo no one will be polluted with bs strawmen, lies, and misdirection. Shit, I should just put what meager savings I have in a box in my room and I'll be good to go.

Stop the world I wanna get off!!!

Tuesday

In a few days I'll know if there are any open ten week sessions, but it doesn't look likely. Meanwhile, my parents' practice is hanging by a thread. Heck, even there I'm only needed on a semiregular basis. That Texas twit and his free market yahoos really fucked things up.

So in the meantime, I've been applying to grad programs, working on applications, portfolios, statements, possible extortion targets, etc. and that's pretty much it.

It's a good thing I've got a little money saved up or I'd be up shit creek right now.

Oh yeah, Valentine's Day is coming. Girlfriend should be coming up to visit, although there is a small chance work might prevent her coming. Luckily, V Day is on a Saturday so worst case scenario is I find way down to see her instead.

Have practice in a couple hours and not much energy for writing.

Monday

The next body part to make my life a livin' hel is an oldie but goodie. My left pec has an achey/cramped sensation. As of now it's not impeding mobility but rotating my neck at odd angles seems to aggrivate it.

In order to blog one needs things to happen in life. I am in the midst of my own slowdown economic and otherwise. The job front is bleak, and I continue to apply to grad programs. I remain in that precarious holding pattern with my girlfriend. Radar is still a Scottish terrier. The criminals responsable for our rape and torture remain at large, closer to us in the echoes of a heartbeat than the physical world. My family is still crazy. My family is still crazy. My family is still crazy. And I am a leaky faucet of mucus.

The banality of evil is still alive and well.