Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Conditioning

Will be reevaluating my conditioning after the tournament. I feel tired, more so than I should be in my opinion. The now progressively challenging fitness kickboxing has something to do with it. Need to change the days and timing of my crossfit sessions.

Yellow Belt, 1 stripe

I officially passed the test or "progress check" as Sifu ruefully calls them. I noted it was ironic that our belts were imports, straight off the back of a boat from china, and our stripes were just generic black tape. Then again, generic black tape probably comes from China anyway.


Sifu stated would become more comprehensive in nature, which I take to mean longer and more involved. Since we will be learning more Thai concepts--basic thai kick, knees, clinch--this is unsurprising. We can also expect thai-like test components, 60kicks/45knees in a given time frame kinda thing.

The Job Front

My teaching days may be over. I thought the advantage of adjuncts for the machine was that we were cheap and disposable. Apparently I was only half right, we're certainly disposable. I subbed a few weeks this semester. My one section in the summer was yanked for low enrollment. Meanwhile, faculty are seeing a 20% increase in their course loads.

My decision to take a sales job appears timely, but first I have the distinct misfortune of paying $315 take a week long insurance licensing course. That starts next week. I'm really hoping this pans out. I'd like to say, for once, that I'm not struggling financially and I'm being paid what I'm worth. We'll see.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I'm a fickle 12 year old girl

I've spent the last few weeks having doubts about my relationship with G. It never seems like I give enough, sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a love triangle; she sees the martial arts as competition. This isn't counting all the ways I feel guilty, all the ways I think I'm failing at the relationship. How can she feel needed/loved when we spend most of the time apart? It's a fair complaint.

So with all this going on I've found myself, er, infatuated by a couple of girls in the dojo. I haven't flirted; I haven't done anything out of the ordinary (that I know of). Thinking about them makes me a little goo goo ga ga. But I experience the attraction differently for both. For one, the attraction feels intellectual, the ole "Ah, this person could understand me" She has traveled further down the martial path than I have, and has born the sacrifices of that decision.

The other is a neophyte, but impressed me with the alacrity she picked up the basic boxing techniques. She is a music teacher, classical guitar.

Sound like a 12 year old girl yet? If I don't I'd love to hear your definition of a fickle teenager.

After JKD, I asked her about a ring she was wearing. I felt foolish enough having a crush on this girl, so much so the idea of having the puppy dog syndrome over a married woman a bit embarrassing. Simultaneously, I HOPED it was a wedding band, that a cold hard smack of reality would whiplash me of the daze.
She showed me the ring. It had engravings.
"It's a chastity ring"
The cold hard smack of reality by way of a wet towel across my bare ass.
My infatuation was muted, but still there.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Anti-Climax 2

The Judo Tournament. I didn't have out sized expectations going in. Having a very small training pool has been a detriment and a reason for competing in the first place.
That being said, there was a lot of bad, some crazy, and a faint glimmer of hope.

The bad: I haven't been to a lot of tournaments, but as far as management and structure are concerned this was clearly the worst. The refs were fine (if maybe a bit too generous with the iponns (sp?)). It was those damn tables. There were a whole lotta kids and plenty of adults. The kids got both rings for the first hour or two. But a disturbing pattern began here and carried right through all the adult divisions. They never announced the brackets by age, weight, or belt, or beginner/advanced. Nope, why do that when you can just shout out names in a noisy hanger crowded with parents and kids? I found this particularly irritating with the adults because no one established any order at all to the adult divisions and when which was going. Fuck that! We don't want to give anyone time to warm up; in fact, it is a time honored tradition in judo to keep you cold AND punish you with the boredom of waiting. I waited around 6 hrs to have my first match...in a two person division. They coulda had us go first or early or ..something, anything. Instead,

The crazy: so I wait 6 hrs and notice my opponent is wearing a black belt. I thought "there's no way he's a black belt, surely, this must be a fatal flaw in the judo game of Different gis/Change belt colors Dance Dance Revolution. (My judo instructor would later say "If he was wearing a black belt, that means he's a black belt). I got SMOKED. As in the match couldn't have been more than 10 seconds SMOKED. Lucky for me this was a double elimination tournament, in which I'd fight the very same black belt all over again. But before I did that, I somehow wound up in an entirely different bracket, the light middleweight bracket (170 lbs). The result was the same: SMOKED. Slap a no smoking sign on my gi before I die of cancer.

I was determined to last more than 10 seconds. When I got my rematch with the black belt I made a crummy attempt at a sacrifice throw and turned it into a grappling contest/ I lasted significantly longer but he still managed to beat me with a throw. Honestly, I think I could have taken him in a straight grappling match. I feel the same way against my other opponent, who I AGAIN lost to by way of double elimination.

the good: Uh...Shallow learning curve? adapted after rough losses and left the building with my ego intact. I know what skills I have to work on. Turns out its astonishingly easy to grab the legs of someone whose 5 ft 4 and a half/135 lbs and slam him. SO yeah, slamming defense will be a biggie in judo.

PS the 170 expressed guilt about our matches, didn't think it was fair. I told him it was ok. I'm used to unfair matches.

Anti-Climax

So the long winding path to this spring's submission grappling tournament seem to be lacking in momentum: no drama or melodrama because I've been busy trying to secure work, coupled with the banality of training, no that it hasn't had its moments (this is also why my return to blogging was short lived.) How anticlimactic is it? The tournament is this Saturday, and I haven't said one thing about it in weeks. I've been much more concerned with

a) Getting the aforementioned job
b) Making actual progress in JKD--we had a yellow sash (1 stripe) "progress check"
c) the judo tournament yesterday (Sunday)
d) behaving like a fickle 12 year old girl (getting its own post)

BJJ itself is going fine, I suppose. We've started implementing the Carlos Machado curriculum, and I know 3 ways to do a basic sweep, and quite frankly, I wouldn't mind knowing two more.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

JKD Make up Test

Was baffling in it's laid back easy going tone, such is the way of Saturday mornings I suppose. I'm not complaining. (I see the fitness requirements as nuisances, not goals.) Sifu even said we passed the test, which he would never do during the week. He'd make us wait. I'm officially a yellow belt now.

Afterwords I had the opportunity to jaw bone with the Thai black belt. She's an administrator for a children's home. I asked her about her job and its unique hardships. Once, she held a meeting where a mother told the child that she couldn't be her mother anymore and was signing the child over to the state. Thai had to restrain the child.

Another story: As Thai was heading to her car one day she saw a teen who appeared to be making a break for it. Thai chased her down. There was a struggle, and Thai believed the teen was trying to throw herself in traffic. Help arrived. Later, when asked why she was trying to kill herself the teen replied "But I wasn't, I was trying to kill you, Thai." "Why?" "To see how much you loved me.".........................................................................................................................
.............Now that is some serious bat-shit crazy. My head blew a fuse when she said that.

Performing the job she has takes both tremendous empathy and ..a..a..a kind of discipline I don't have a word for, "resolve" perhaps?
And she's divorced. And she has twins. Me? Ask me where my car keys are? If I get that on a first try then I am having one tremendously yellow brick road musical of a day.

Note: Thai has to depend on orderlies in many confrontational situations. Ethical codes of her profession prevent her from using most of her techniques or she'll risk losing her license.

Yeah Yeah Yeah

Posting not quite so regular as intended, been trying to get a job, train, etc....

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Fitness Kickboxing...to the death!

Most of the time in Fitness Kickboxing and JKD 1, I'm one of the more advanced students when it comes to basic boxing. I spend a lot of time working on THEIR form and their feeding technique. But not last night.

There is a girl--she has twins, is "girl" a wee bit condescending??--who comes to the dojo in spurts. She happens to have great legs, a friendly disposition, and a black belt in Muy Thai. Her smile is arresting. Big and honest, she has one tooth in the front row that juts at a precarious angle. Is it a simple renegade tooth making trouble for her brothers and sisters or the result of something vicious, a punch she had for breakfast early in her training or an oopsie, a clutsy mistake we all make, like walking into a pole or it could be the scar of her own personal trauma. The smart money is on the knuckle sandwich.
She-- Oh that's right, she's not JUST a black belt, she passed an instructor level examination. Regardless, I haven't worked with her in at least nine months. When it comes to feeding, it's pretty easy to sit on your heels, get a little too comfortable with beginners. Not with her, I was fighting for my life. She wasn't out to kill me, she's just that good. She has speed, she has intent, and she seemed to lean forward a little.
I couldn't tell if that's what she was doing or the way she carried her head, I was too preoccupied with not getting hit! In fact, during one of the two other times I've fed for her she whacked me twice, once in the eye, once in the mouth. This made me feel tentative. I grabbed my mouth guard at the first opportunity.
"Mouth-guard? You don't trust me?"
"No." And no disrespect was intended, just the opposite. Her punches are straight, and if you ain't ready you will get popped. Despite being a little scared--scared of a girl yes, I admit it--I want to work with her again. She pushed me from both directions, and offered the occasional constructive criticism.
"When you bob and weave, look at my chest." Now there's something you won't hear a woman say very often. I kept this observation to myself.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

They go boom 3

I find it interesting that most of the perps in this month's rage-a-palooza had gun permits. What is the procedure for the renewal of a gun permit. How often does one need to renew it? Have these permits helped law enforcement in anyway? (after the fact at least, they've proven impotent as preventative measures)

There are a whole lotta tough questions to ask and no one wants to ask 'em. There isn't a gun debate. There's only a sideshow of horrors followed by mass disavowal, a few tepid calls for reason, and then nothing. Nothing at all until the next heartbreak.

Someone please make the badman stop.

PS--
there are two books on school shootings I'd really love to read:
Columbine (written over a 10 year period by a journalist with roots in Littleton)
and Why They Kill, a text heavy on criminology and the patterns and aberrations that propel someone to think of mass murder as the logical thing to do.

The puppy takes no prisoners

Poor Radar. A demon has crawled up his anus with the goal of turning his butt into an honest to God environmental disaster. He''s had--I believe the phrase is---the squirts most of the day, punctuated with a puke, about an hour ago. Radar barf is particularly troublesome, not because it's super chunky or hard to clean, just that it usually reminds me of the Orange Julius drinks I had as a child. A fuzzy childhood memory turned into dog vomit. Yum!

Poor guy even whined a little when he puked. This is the 2nd time in two weeks he's had tummy trouble. As far as I know he's only eating dog food....as far as I know.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

They go boom 2

In the end, after most of the shoddy rhetoric has been kicked to the cub, you're left with the 2nd Amendment. I'm not gonna bother quoting it, but the debate itself revolves who the amendment says has the right to bear arms, the nature of the arms, and how that right is fulfilled. I'm sure there's more, much more, than those three issues, but these are ubiquitous.

How you read the 2nd Amendment is often determined by judicial philosophy--at least for judges and lawyer types. As for me, when it comes down to it, I just don't see how regulation infringes upon one's 2nd Amendment rights. Nor do I see how banning particular kinds of guns does this, when citizens still can make a purchase from a wide variety of legal fire arms. I don't understand why the process of owning a gun isn't like the process of acquiring a driver's license. You begin to learn, then you get a permit, you learn some more, then you get a license. This would foster responsible gun ownership and emphasize the point that a gun isn't magic, it's a powerful tool, and owning one means understanding what it can do. Yet, if I suggested this on a right wing blog I'd be tarred and feathered. I'm a genuine survivor of sexual violence and torture, which was facilitated by the fact our attackers were armed with guns, and I STILL can't relate to the paranoia some gun owners feel about home invasions and robbers and blah blah blah. It doesn't matter how many lives are ruined, snuffed out all hail the holy gun. Sigh.

Monday, April 6, 2009

They go boom

Nasty weekend. Not for me personally, but there were several mas murders this weekend. Several. As in more than one.

I hate guns. I really do. Before the incident I vacillated between frustration and surrender with gun laws. Then the West Virginia massacre happened...then the rape, torture, assault extravaganza of G and Me pretty much entrenched the idea of gun control within my own system of ethics.

I spent a chunk of time this weekend reading articles about the different mass murders: the Asian immigrant who lost his shit, the death of several police officers by a Neo Nazi twat, and the suicide/homicide of a man who shot his children and himself after discovering his wife was leaving him. This is the slow burn of sudden madness. Each case was really a culmination of disturbing behavior and hard economic times.

These incidents have renewed debate over the efficacy and necessity of gun laws. I've looked at dailykos blogs and comments, the comment section of whatever article I'd read, and I tried to take a step back from the articles themselves, look for patterns of...whatever meme, myth, or political stripe.

Just a few observations about the "pro-gun" rhetoric. These are paraphrases:

1. Guns don't kill people. Poeple kill people.
2. Guns are a tool
3. Cars kill more people than guns.
4. It's mostly gangs killing each other (haven't heard this one in a while)
5. 2nd Ammendment. Nanny nanny boo boo.

I'm sure there are more but I wanted to focus on these in particular. Within the rhetorical matrix, a major strategy by NRA types (and some moderates) is to diminish the role of the gun. After all there are lots of things that kill more people than guns" cars, planes, cancer, AIDs, cancer of the AIDs, and AIDs cancer. (In respect to cars I'm not convinced, but for the sake of argument I'll accept it). All of this might be true. It is also true that guns are a tool, if one says guns are inherently evil you could be construed as engaging in puritanical evil: objects, have no souls or intellects, cannot make decisions, etc. And gangs?? I think that's racist b.s nonetheless the function is to diminish the role of the gun.

So here's my problem with this line of reasoning. A gun has one function: to kill.
The sloganeering of the NRA is specious at best. A gun isn't designed to make donuts or change the tv channel from ESPN to Bravo. Nor is it intended as a nonlethal deterrent, that is at best a secondary, and more realistically a tertiary ability, once you factor in the fragility of human flesh and the unpredictable nature of bullets. (The real secondary attribute is intimidation, fear of death).
Yes, there are things that take more lives than guns, this is because a) they are simply more effective at killing (nuclear bomb, AIDs) or b) their ability to kill is the ole law of unintended consequences (cars).

Cars may kill a lot of people, but we have preventative measures ranging from seat belts and airbags, to that magical thing called a driver's license, which certifies a base level of competency--physical and mental-- while assisting law enforcement in holding drivers accountable.

And yet guns remain a highly effective means of killing with no real system of checks and balances behind them. 50% of all guns sales occur at gun shows which manage to circumvent all federal regulation---more than one high school shooter has purchased firearms at these events.

Getting close to dojo time, think the next time I write about guns the topic will be the 2nd Amendment.

Back to normal

Regular posting to commence tomorrow.