Last night, 3 am or thereabouts, I called my girlfriend and cried, despairing over my inability to find solace from my sister. Who is the bigger threat now? Two idiots wandering the halls of my psyche hiding in the shadows of the Parthenon, or my sister, real, present, and worst of all, related.
In another show of frustration and impotence, I got manhandled in BJJ, and the entire time it felt like I shouldn’t, that I should be doing BETTER. One guy is actually smaller than me our rolls had gotten competitive. Not tonight. Not a chance. He controlled me from the get go, made me tap—more than once I think. I’m a head of the class kind of guy, I don’t like being the dunce. I need to dedicate more training time on the weekends. After my next paycheck I’ll try and schedule a private lessons.
I realized tonight that not only is my triangle defense lacking, I’m not any good at applying the hold either. I need to give attention to positives too. Triangle defense is incrementally better as is over all conditioning, but conditioning won’t mean much if I can’t win my first match.
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