I miss the drive-in 2

So I've been thinking. You know, I was a bit scared to ask that guy to stop texting, and I was definitely scared when I was stuck with him for the rest of the movie. I felt guilty, not just because I hadn't meant for it to become a production. I felt guilty because I didn't ask him in the first place, even though I knew my past history in movie theaters made it a dangerous proposition. I feared losing control of both myself and the situation. And to a degree I DID lose control of the situation. I was stuck! I couldn't leave the theater, or at least I didn't feel as if I could leave the theater upon a perceived threat of violence. You'd think my training would instill confidence. It didn't, perhaps if the situation had turned violent I would have remained calm, but that is speculation. What my training did was make me aware of the potential for violence and the consequences of violence. So it's not as if my training failed, I kept myself out of a compromising position and yet I still felt COMPROMISED. I'm not sure what all this means. Sifu would say my avoidance of conflict was a victory in itself: I didn't get hit; I didn't get hurt; therefore, I didn't lose a fight. And I agree. It's just...I don't know. This incident pushed my buttons. Is it a gender thing? As a male there is pressure for me to solve conflicts aggressively? Maybe the trauma has created an extra incentive to solve my conflicts with the grace and skill of a caveman, but my movie theater blow ups happened before I was tortured and I've ALWAYS been a bit shy. Ugh!