General State of Things

Did some side-control drills last night. I managed to recover guard on everyone, and all but one---I believe--was unable to recover on me. Not bad.

God, as much as I hate work, I'll be pleased to be generating income again. I need to move out of this house. Away from my father, away from the babykicker, and away from my neat freak mom (the only member of the family whom I have a good relationship with).

I'm sleeping in a little too long most days, and any behavior that is even vaguely comparable to the babykicker's makes me a bit neurotic and self-conscious.

I just returned from a lifting and swimming workout. I feel good, energized...I also have too much Endorush in my system. I may go to the dojo later and get another crossfit workout in. I really don't want to be up all night because of some damn energy drink.

I submitted a few poems to an online lit mag, I know the ed. in chief, although we haven't talked in a few years. I'm hoping that, even if rejected, she can give me some advice on what to do with the material. (I've been toying with showing these poems to my girlfriend for the last few months, but I've been reticent to do so because they are about our shared trauma, and how I/we've been affected. I'm scared of her response. I showed her a PS statement I wrote a couple years ago and, er. she took it the wrong way. This is a trust thing. And I wonder if, in order to--and I feel like a self-help book saying this--work through the trauma I need to do this, consequences be damned. This strikes me as peculiarly analogous do the decision people make after they've cheated on a lover. Do you confess or do you bury it? There's no telling what will happen, there isn't even a guarantee that it will be beneficial on an individual if you tell the truth. Hmm, that's interesting. Do I believe I am engaging in a deception by not showing her the poems?)

I'll say this for Endorush, it ain't a bad motivator for writing, but don't tell anyone it can focus the left brain, that's the purview of evil S L O W drugs like pot. Then again, maybe it's a good idea most writer's DON'T try Endorush for creative purposes. That's all the world needs, a bunch of writers hopped up on uppers. So instead of dealing with a bunch who are largely prone to suicide and drink, you'd have a bunch prone to suicide and pep. They'd get around to killing themselves much faster cutting their work out put in half, that or they'd merely do the same work in half the time.

The bad man is gassing

My groin is feeling better, not 100% but I’ve been playing things conservatively. Even though I didn’t want to, I skipped BBJ tonight to give it more time to heal. I did some weight training though (back), and 45 minutes on an elliptical rider.

My tummy is feeling a bit queasy.

Make the bad man stop 2

I’ve tried to tread lightly with the groin injury today, and boy howdy I hate treading lightly. I kept an ice pack between my inner thigh and my scrotum on and off for about eight hours today. I think I succeeded in sterilizing myself; my girlfriend will never have to worry about a leaky condom again.

I’m lucky to have parents who run their own medical practice. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as ibuprofen cream.

Normally I do my leg workout on Tuesdays but thought better of it, opting to do my shoulders instead. I didn’t do any cardio work at the gym, rather I just did a beginner JKD workout at the dojo. I think it was 85 degrees in there. Add that to the one hour workout and I think, considering my injury it’s a sensible cardio workout. Once this heels I’m going to start attending both the level 1 workout and the level 2 workout proceeding it, but learning the choreography of these combinations is driving me batty. Plus, I feel a little guilty. I’m not exactly a wiz when its my turn to hold the..er..target thingies. I don’t like thinking I jipped someone out of their workout (even the beginners seem light years ahead of me).

I’m starting to rethink my whole approach to weightlifting, cardio, etc. I need to develop a workout that will promote better flexibility, focus on increasing strength even at the cost of muscle mass.

I need power, I need speed, I need better endurance, and I need better flexibility.

I hope I’m not going to have to make a lot of changes to my diet.

BTW While I’m thinking MMA, my partner tonight was pushing me to keep my guard up, but is it me or do a lot of the UFC/Pride/WEC guys employ a low guard? Mere sloppiness or is there a tactical reason for doing so?

Make the bad man stop

BBJ was nasty tonight. We spent most of practice doing drills where the man in the guard position couldn't use his hands, AND he had to keep an open guard. This drill is a great way to build endurance and make you stronger in the guard position...Too bad my left inner thigh told me to go fuck myself. On the very first drill I felt something...pop?...give?..I'm worried. If I'm lucky I merely pulled my groin, if I'm unlucky I tore it. SO naturally I had to tough it out and cycle through the drill as many times as Sifu ran it. I'm icing it now, and it ain't easy trying to ice your inner thigh without freezing your testicles.

When I came home there was glass all over the kitchen floor all the dogs were loose, and somebody peed on the side of my bed. Suffice to say I was nonplussed.

BTW A Sifu is like a Sensai. I think the difference is a sufi is a title for Kung Fu practitioners...at least I think that's what it correlates to.

JKD

I've mentioned before I've started taking a class in BBJ/Submission Wrestling. I'm also taking a beginner's course in Jeet Kune Do. The more I learn about JKD the more I like it. (I think Bruce Lee's impact on history has been severly underestimated).

I went outside to practice some boxing combinations, but I could only remember two! So I did my best to flow from one to the other and alternate lead hands.

If anyone could recommend some training texts for beginners I'd be much obliged, as I need something to compensate for my absent mindedness.