After "taking it easy" for 5 months the source of pain has now been diagnosed as my hips. Seems I have retro-something or other hips--my hips are pointing towards my ass and have been since I was a wee fetus. Why wasn't this detected years and years ago? I don't know. It would certainly saved me time and energy I don't want to waste right now. In all likelihood I will have surgery in a few months and then begin rehab. I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I'm happy t know the source of the pain. On the other, I'm frustrated this wasn't diagnosed months ago and even more time will be wasted not training. When I finally return to the martial arts I will be back to square one. Posting will still, regrettably, be sparse. It seems I am gonna have to re-evaluate a great many things.
Side-note: the good doctor said that pain as a result of sitting was a strong indicator that I had hip problems.
Other side-note: Upon being told told my hips pointed backwards "This explains why I was a shitty soccer player in high school!"
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
A brief state of the body
Pain. My quads have gone nuclear. They are the real source of the pain, not the knees themselves. Sitting upright serves to aggravate them; hence, sparse blogging. Will resume regular blogging duties when normalcy returns--or a painless approximation of it.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tomcat in Love
This is a really good book. I'm glad I read it. That's all I really wanted to say, well that, and I met Tim O'Brien years ago. He is quite the bar fly.
Battle of the tendons...and swimming!
I'll say this for Ben Gay. Sure it has a ridiculously anachronistic name loaded with menthol charged gay jokes, and it doesn't have the cache' of Mr. Fancy Pants Ibuprofen Cream with its 'scrip only allure; but I can tell when it's working. As soon as it makes skin contact you know Ben Gay is going for that deep penetrating action (sorry, couldn't resist). Ibuprofen cream just makes your knees shiny for hours, I'm not sure how much of the stuff is well and truly absorbed by the body. Hmph.
There was more swimming today. I did a 20 min time trial (850 Meters? I lost count more than once!). I've found a lot of good swimming routines off of Crossfitendurance.com. I hate the fact I'm confined to a chlorine box, but at least the routines are varied and interesting, lots of short burst speed/sprinting work peppered with time trials, tabatas, and the occasional long distance work. (I wish I knew how to go about doing a tabata in a pool. How am I supposed to time myself? Get an underwater time piece that vibrates during intervals??) If you've ever wanted to incorporate swimming into your training/workout regimen then check the site out---also has programs for bikes, running, C2 rowers.
There was more swimming today. I did a 20 min time trial (850 Meters? I lost count more than once!). I've found a lot of good swimming routines off of Crossfitendurance.com. I hate the fact I'm confined to a chlorine box, but at least the routines are varied and interesting, lots of short burst speed/sprinting work peppered with time trials, tabatas, and the occasional long distance work. (I wish I knew how to go about doing a tabata in a pool. How am I supposed to time myself? Get an underwater time piece that vibrates during intervals??) If you've ever wanted to incorporate swimming into your training/workout regimen then check the site out---also has programs for bikes, running, C2 rowers.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The coming crisis
I've been feeling a bit depressed, all the body stuff is finally getting to me. Oh, and my girlfriend dreams of getting married, and I don't want any part of it.
I don't know when she decided this; I'm not even sure I remember when she started talking about it, but I feel tricked, like we agreed we had no taste for marriage, and then bam! she's a convert. She isn't putting pressure on me to get married, but that day will come, and it's got me down in a big way--that and the tendinitis.
Ah yes, my tendinitis. My taunting stand-in conscience with the maturity of a third grade bully, and all the grace of a fickle thirteen year old girl, toying with the affections of the lovestruck and luckless.
Feel free to shoot me if I stray into emo territory.
I am physically and spiritually confined, bound in taunts, weighted down with machine guns and wedding rings.
I don't know when she decided this; I'm not even sure I remember when she started talking about it, but I feel tricked, like we agreed we had no taste for marriage, and then bam! she's a convert. She isn't putting pressure on me to get married, but that day will come, and it's got me down in a big way--that and the tendinitis.
Ah yes, my tendinitis. My taunting stand-in conscience with the maturity of a third grade bully, and all the grace of a fickle thirteen year old girl, toying with the affections of the lovestruck and luckless.
Feel free to shoot me if I stray into emo territory.
I am physically and spiritually confined, bound in taunts, weighted down with machine guns and wedding rings.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Fantasies
Here I am at the keyboard with two packs of frozen vegetables on my knees listening to Alice in Chains (Lane Staley: the only rocker who well and truly HAD to die of a drug overdose? His voice is like a sea of weeping blisters covered in salt? Of all the grunge artists and heroin romantics he is one of the few who was truly suffering, not charmed by the charisma of suffering)
Have you ever fantasized without realizing it? I don't mean caught in a daydream, I'm speaking to the issue of recognition--a pattern, a method to your wish fulfillment. Well, I've been having a lot of fantasies about saving people. Stopping robbers, saving a nerd from a vicious high school beat-down, finding THEM, crushing THEM, sending THEM to dreamland before I throw 'em in jail. This isn't just about reimagining the rape with a positive outcome; my imagination has expanded. I'm the guy in the local paper who foils the bank robbery, who saves the clerk in a Circle K, the human shield for a toddler trapped in a burning building.
For a large chunk of my life, I've fantasized about death. My death, the death of those I love, melodramatic stuff. "How will I go on without them? Blah blah" It has been my way of fetishizing death, of taming it, of living it's reality on a day to day basis.
Lately, that has largely been replaced by these savior fantasies (Things don't always end in a rosy frame of mind. I might die saving the day or I might save three kids, but fail to save the fourth from the burning building). Seems there's more to this superhero thing, doesn't it? ...
Shit, I just had one right now! Another recurring one. A gunman, this time two, have stormed the gym, and it's up to me to take 'em down. Hmm, something I should expand upon.
I'll come back to that later, right now my knees have me paranoid. Ice or no ice, sitting in this chair aggravates the tendinitis, so I'm gonna lay down for a bit, maybe read a bit of Tomcat In Love.
Have you ever fantasized without realizing it? I don't mean caught in a daydream, I'm speaking to the issue of recognition--a pattern, a method to your wish fulfillment. Well, I've been having a lot of fantasies about saving people. Stopping robbers, saving a nerd from a vicious high school beat-down, finding THEM, crushing THEM, sending THEM to dreamland before I throw 'em in jail. This isn't just about reimagining the rape with a positive outcome; my imagination has expanded. I'm the guy in the local paper who foils the bank robbery, who saves the clerk in a Circle K, the human shield for a toddler trapped in a burning building.
For a large chunk of my life, I've fantasized about death. My death, the death of those I love, melodramatic stuff. "How will I go on without them? Blah blah" It has been my way of fetishizing death, of taming it, of living it's reality on a day to day basis.
Lately, that has largely been replaced by these savior fantasies (Things don't always end in a rosy frame of mind. I might die saving the day or I might save three kids, but fail to save the fourth from the burning building). Seems there's more to this superhero thing, doesn't it? ...
Shit, I just had one right now! Another recurring one. A gunman, this time two, have stormed the gym, and it's up to me to take 'em down. Hmm, something I should expand upon.
I'll come back to that later, right now my knees have me paranoid. Ice or no ice, sitting in this chair aggravates the tendinitis, so I'm gonna lay down for a bit, maybe read a bit of Tomcat In Love.
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