A few days ago ABC News reported that an autopsy of Chris Benoit’s brain had, in fact, been done. The results: the brain of an 85 year old man with alzheimer’s. Woah. In the tiny sphere of smart marks some have called the autopsy absolution, while at least one reporter has claimed that the only thing it proves is that Benoit had head trauma. Huh???

When I think Alzheimer’s I think two things: gaping holes in memory and dementia, lots and lots of dementia. Considering the accelerated age of the brain (85) lets assume Benoit experienced both, because when I hear “brain of an 85 year old man with Alzheimer’s” I don’t think “oh this must have been the early stages” I think “this is the mental equivalent of a hell dimension.”

His ability to grapple with reality was seriously handicapped. His judgment was impaired. The legal definition of insanity is rooted in one’s ability to discern right from wrong. If reality was constantly shifting under his feet then I fail to see how the autopsy DOESN’T absolve him. How can you know right from wrong when you could be reliving in the events of August 2006 (arbitrary date) when it’s August 2007. In his mind Benoit could have been reliving a match or worse reliving a fight with Nancy.

But this narrative faces a few potholes. One, why didn’t anyone NOTICE this??? Two, WWE vigorously denies Benoit manifested any mental ailments. In a company stricken by group-speak, a complete failure of critical thought isn’t unusual but missing advanced Alzheimer’s? I dunno, something is rotten in Stanford, CT. Correction: Something is STILL rotten in Stanford, CT.

I don’t think the story has completely unraveled yet. Congress will be holding hearings on WWE quite soon. They’re already in deep do-do because of the recent steroid expose’. If anyone in that company is trying to cover their tracks they are playing with fire.