Marriage

Marriage. Not a fan. Not an enthusiastic proponent; I’m not against it either. I’m not sure what it really demonstrates anymore. Am I frightened of “till death do us part?” I shouldn’t be. Divorce is legal, safe, and available pretty much anywhere in the United States. Do I fear the myth of marriage? The timelessness? The adjacent question would be do I fear the myth of divorce? Which in pop culture is often regarded as a miserable experience that is never really over even when its over. It undoes the very physics that Yogi Berra laid down for mortal man. I like the idea of the reception. I really like the idea of a party with lots of food, dancing with my girlfriend, feeding her cake. Yes. I like the romance, the myth of THAT event. I have a pretty good idea of what sort of cake I’d like to have. I saw this one on Food Network. It was a layered cake given the tilted effect, to create an illusion of instability, of wobbliness. On the top the groom is flailing about on the edge of the cake ready to take that plunge into oblivion. I believe the bride looked on in shock or she was reaching out for him. I like both models. All it needs is a Scottish Terrier doing something rascally. Is he peeing on the top layer? Perhaps he’s charging after the groom, willing to take the leap? He is most likely observing the fiasco with detached disdain.

Marriage strikes me as a profound understatement. Get Married? Till death do us part? When they left us in the bathtub something else happened. We were bonded for life. There are moments I wish she would die so I could be released. There are times it’s easier to accept. I can respect it, grudgingly admire it. After everything we are still alive, still together. We haven’t given up, but now it feels like I have a little less say in the matter.

I wonder how many married couples really understand the bond they are supposed to have. Like most things that represent “traditional values” marriage lives in an illusion. It is the thing you have to do, but somehow the requirement of the thing has devalued the thing. It has pragmatic purposes and benefits, but it is supposed to solidify and codify a spiritual bond that I don’t think most people have/find/cultivate/obtain. At this point in my life I think the idea people can will a spiritual bond is folly and profoundly dumb, might as well and try to bend a spoon with your mind, that requires willpower too.