Shoot outs

September 13, 2007

Do family dysfunctions generate a gravitational pull? Can you avoid them? Is the only way to do it to severe ties? I got into separate arguments with my father and my sister: two people who seriously test my patience and two people for whom I go out of my way to avoid confrontations, but it is no use. The former will go out of his way to pick and pick and pick at your skin, criticizing everything you do, and when you finally tell him enough he wants to know why your so angry with him? Why don’t you take the time to talk with him? Frankly, he doesn’t listen to anything I say. My sister is similar. She took in an abused dog, one that refuses to eat or drink unless SHE serves it water or food. Her absence is tantamount to abuse. When I voiced my concerns because WE were taking care of it “I need to mind my own business” and “get off your high horse.” She had already dumped two dogs on my mother, and it looked to me she was going for a hat trick. I called her on it.

Both arguments were similar in structure. I don’t pretend to be an angel,(yet both of them LOVE to say I’m moralizing). I really don’t want to spend a lot of times on the details. I said nasty things, and I’ll say more in years to come, but Christ, I have to admit there are something I even I can’t anticipate.

My father accused me of studying the martial arts so I could be beat him up. Huh???(That’s been one of his things lately, he’s been criticizing me for taking martial arts). If he really believes that, his paranoia is worse then I’d suspected. Hell, it looks like he’s taking a swan dive into senility. He KNOWS I’m using the martial arts as a way of coping.

And my sister? In what may be the world’s first coup de gras (sp?) of both cowardice and shit slinging, from her car fifty yards away yelled that I shouldn’t talk about taking care of her dog since I let my girlfriend get raped.

Take a minute to let that one sink in.

Well, I don’t know how anyone else would have reacted, but I broke into a full sprint and she hauled ass out of the cul-de-sac, didn’t even pause for the stop sign at the top of the hill. What would I have done if I caught her? I don’t know, but since she was in a car, there’s not a whole lot I could have done, which I suppose is for the best.

And keep in mind I wasn’t looking for trouble in either case.

Both my father and sister are classic babykickers. My sister has splintered our family and my father, well, he vacillates among accusing my mother of trying to sabotage him when something goes wrong, screwing HER over, and desperately trying to lap up the attention of my sister, giving her anything she wants, no matter how many people she betrays, no matter how many rules she breaks That poor dog is just going to be another name on her list.

I really don’t want anything to do with either of them anymore. Hell, I don’t even know which one disgusts me more. I have no way to quantify behavior like this.