My Girlfriend and kettlebells

Yes, two topics that have absolutely nothing to do with each other together for the first time (in structure not in any real applicable relationship).

The more kettlebell workouts I do the more I like them. Their design promotes freedom of motion and more efficient work (er, or something like that). I find it easier to learn olympic exercises in kettlebell--as supposed to barbell or dumbell--form, and they foster grip strength. Something I've been sorely lacking for a long time. The k.b. deadlift in particular I really like. In its barbell form, to really do the exercise correctly, the bar would would have to scrape against the shins...ick, but with the kettlebell you can begin the exercise with the bell between your legs. And the k.b. swing? great all around exercise. When I first saw it, I was skeptical of the cardiovascular effect, but it's there. It works best within the context of a circuit, but it allows you to develop power and cardio at the same time. My one complaint: with more sophisticated olympic lifts you have to practice positioning switching your wrist grip (the clean for example). If you don't get it right, the bell will leave a bruise on your forearm :( So I guess you could call it negative reinforcement: execute the proper form or go owie.

Lately things have been much smoother between me and girlfriend. Her mood swings still worry me, but I think I have finally assuaged her concerns over my devotion and loyalty. Her suffering breaks my heart. I dread waking her up at night, almost inevitable when I visit; I'm a night owl at heart. She sits up startled, stiff. She doesn't see me; she sees them, and she cowers in fear. It will take me 10-15 seconds to snap her out of it. She wasn't even aware that she did that until I pointed it out on her last visit.

Trauma. You'd think a person would notice that sort of behavior in themself (sp?), but when it comes to trauma we appear all to willing to assimilate the shocking, the irregular, into our mundane lives. I guess it's a variation on the banality of evil: the banality of trauma, the banality of suffering. Acknowledgment, perhaps, means recognizing the extent of one's own pain. I do not excuse myself from this. I am probably engaging in behaviors similar to my girlfriend, but I recognized hers. I suggested that she take a self-defense course or take a martial art. I told her I think it would be therapeutic. If she was prepared for the situation perhaps her immediate reaction upon waking would not be cowering. Unfortunately, as much as I want this, her attention is already divided among work, her thesis--her never ending ego devouring thesis--and the....well its something I can't talk about here yet, so I don't push the issue, I hope she'll have the freedom to take one up soon though.