Curse of the Blair Witch

Not in the best of moods right now, but wanted to jaw 'bout the Blair Witch some more. Got to watch it last night. Found myself paying a lot of attention to the shot selection and cinematography. Buried in the mockumentary format are quite a number of classic narrative shot conventions. At one point point Mike is framed in the lower left third of the screen, while of the screen is trees and air, while the look of the black/white footage struck me as poetic, possibly lyrical.

What does black/white mean in this context? What does TOGGLING between color and b/w mean in this context? The easy answer is perspective or possibly aesthetic distance (black and white promotes a larger distance, color brings you closer to the subject). I think this is part of it. It plays with the rational/irrational tension often found in horror films. Heck the viewer even see the same footage rendered in both formats. This is a blurring of boundaries, an interrogation. [Taking a moment to scoff at anyone who thought they could film this themselves]. This blurring/toggling also reminds the viewer of a technological presence in the film (the cameras). Although both devices bravely record the tragic downfall of Heather and her buddies, as tools against the Blair Witch (the irrational) and their fates, the cameras are impotent. This is a far cry from Stoker's Dracula, in which technology served to record trangressions and allowed the heroes to save the day.

Not bad for a micro budget film that has earned the ire of thousands ;)
Oh! One last thing of note. This film falls into the 10% of movies that do NOT have any love story whatsoever. One could argue there is a triangle, but it's not a love triangle; it's a fear triangle or a paranoia triangle.

OW!!!

Managed to trip over my dog and go pinkie toe first into a door, which for those keeping score is a sharp pain not an ache or itch. Was too busy screaming and clutching my foot on the floor to berate the dog, which wouldn't have mattered anyway.

The Blair Witch Project

I love this movie, really love this movie, but man does it have vicious detractors. "It was stupid! It was boring! I could make this movie! I got motion sick! It wasn't scary!" and so on and so forth. I was mildly surprised to see the AVclub review it in their New Cult Cannon series, and I was really surprised--and a little ecstatic to see it defended AND see a large chunk of the commenters embrace it for the classic it is. Heck, the response got me so revved up I went out and rented it tonight. They spoke as if deeply effected by the film, genuinely frightened. (I was too, had the lights on when I went to bed).

I never understood the "it wasn't scary" reaction. If the Blair Witch doesn't scare these people, what does???

Taking it easy(?)

Doing my best to cut back this week, would like to be healthy for the tournament, but I'm so damn obssessive sometimes. Went to the 7:30 basic jujitsu class, skipped the 8:30 class, got to do a little rolling after working basic side control escapes. Think I prefer the two hands in method.

Little Victory: Made B. tap to a classic kimora(arm lock??) from side control.
Remember, it's like a paintbrush

State of the body 2

My nose, as luck would have it, is fine; in fact, since the sinusitis has subsided (never going off respa ever again) my nose is close---very close--to being fine AND dandy. My toe is up and down, forcing me to reassess its status yet again. Something has to be broken, it is still very sensitive to pressure, but there's not much I can do.

Took Sifu's advice about kicking with my hamstrings a wee bit too seriously. Felt something pop last tuesday, thought it was just a cramp--not that lucky. Gonna have to treat it with pain killers and ibuprofen cream.

Let the record show

I was hit in the nose on Thursday in fitness kickboxing. I did not have a flashback.

Monday Redux

Wednesday's practice was just as rough, if not moreso, than Monday's. Ah Monday, that day of the week were the guantlet was done in one minute intervals soon to be replaced by Wednesday's zealous two minute intervals. I think I only managed to collect one new blister, while keeping the others reasonably controlled. This time the groups were segmented into Gi and no-gi. And as fate would have it that would put me in with all the middle weights and light heavyweights. I was in for two minutes against a very strong, cool, personal trainer. He's not particularly emotive; I guess stolid would be the term, the kind of guy who might be a dick, who might be mistaken for being an arrogant dick while he's really just stoic, you just don't know (he's always been careful never to do any serious harm to me).

I did alright circumstances pending. He tapped me out once, but I was able to launch a few counter offensives via gi, which can be a great tool to mitigate size and strength differences. At one moment he tried to stack me, and to my surpirse I didn't just roll out of it, I rolled out and popped to standing in a fluid motion. Next time I'll have to try to take advantage of that, or at least roll through in a way that sets up a submission.

There was a switching around of a few people between groups and I found myself in the smaller (by weight) no gi group. The fighters who I consider to be more dangerous than the larger fellas (not to take anything away from them). I got a submission and a take down, but one thing I learned last night is that I have a long way to go before I have a consistently effective take down. I simply got trapped in the guillotine one too many times (I escaped a couple times but was submitted once). I was the last person through the gauntlet though, and boy it was ugly. I ran on fume and two legs because I arms were dead dead dead. I couldn't feel my biceps, and my elbows are STILL killing me (we drilled arm bars in the beginner class before hand).

Final note: I need to start working on my no-gi hip throw. It really looked pathetic!

State of the body

I'm collecting aches, bruises, toe pains, neck pains, and my chronic sinusitis has been rampaging through the pollen and over whatever prescription strength cocktail I put in its way. I'm currently taking Respa AR, levaquin, generic allergy/sinus meds, and I even used some sort of prescrip strength inhaler. I can't do this much longer. The respa alone is equivalent to five different medications. better worse acceptable worse better awful better worse worse awful better, but never good. I just want to get back to good, being able to make out distinct smells.

There's a tournament in a few weeks and I'd like to say that I was in better shape than the last one (oh yeah and win too).

Just thinkin'

Girlfriend has a second interview coming up with a publishing company. She'd make 30,00 and get her foot in the door to an editing job. I'm happy for her; I hope she gets it, and I dread her getting it. If I don't get into grad school, what do I do? What reasons is there for me to stay here?(martial ones aside). At some point I have to rejoin her, but damn I really don't wanna move back to Florida. I can't live in that town anymore.

Regardless of that, I've got my own economic issues to worry about. I love the flexibility of collegiate teaching, but damn summer is lookin' bleak. I have one section, just one. Not good, not good at all. I need a job that isn't minimum wage grunt work. Don't see that happening. GOod god those jobs are just soul crushing. How can anyone do that stuff for more than a few weeks without wanting to blow their brains out?

Listening to Outkast right now.

Lake of Fire

I just watched the an excellent documentary, Lake of Fire, which is about the abortion debate. Not one side or the other, the debate writ large. Shot in black and white over a period that appears to be ten years, it runs the gammut of big whig thinkers like Noam Chomsky to certified nut-job anti-abortion assassins. There is graphic footage, the kind I simply haven't seen before any work on abortion. Yes, you see fetal remains. Yes, you see footage of the procedure. Hell, you might even learn something you didn't know before, and yeah, you'll have a few beliefs reaffirmed too.

I'm a pro-choice guy. In the end, a woman deserves autonomy over her body, and as far I'm concerned most anti-abortion arguments are scare tactics, separated only by degrees. The only thing that separates the assassin from the activist from the sacred sunday moms is the zeal.

However, I think that in order to properly educated people on what abortion is; it can't be sugar coated no more than it can be demonized. It can be a traumatic experience. It can be difficult to cope with physically, even if that is for a short time. And whether I like it or not, some people, including Ms. Roe herself, find their opinions change when presented with the matter in stark physical terms. (In Roe's case though I think her conversion has more to do with other issues that are peripherally discussed). Understanding abortion, which includes witnessing the consequences as well as the reasons for and against (both strictly physical and philosophical), should be part of a comprehensive sex-ed course, which we won't be seeing any time soon.

Stupid

Barack Obama said a group of voters was bitter, so what? Please take your manufactured outrage somewhere else media. His intent, even if not obvious, in his speech, was contextualized by his speech on race a few weeks ago. (He acknowledged the anger of some white voters, and that they had a right to be upset, the ire was misplace: it should be aimed at corps outsourcing, not some stupid Affirmative Action myth) Oh that's right, he threw his grandmother under a bus for admitting she had prejudices just like everyone else.

People. Stop watching Fox. Put Down the CNN. You can only watch MSNBC if Olbermann is on. Go to youtube and watch remarks for yourself; in fact, when it comes to news, just watch videos of the actual events, don't let some twit force feed you dumb ass narratives.

Accidental Headbutt

Ow. Seriously. Ow.

We did this gauntlet drill in bjj last night. One man in the center, six outside. The center man would go a minute with each person (6 min total). The outsiders would try to pass his guard and the center man was looking for a sweep. I was first in the center. Didn't pull a single sweep off (but I'm not sure if anyone actually got a sweep), and I didn't get passed all that often. At some point I was grappling with Sifu, and damn if I didn't eat a big ol' skull under my chin. IT hurt like hell, didn't sound too pleasant either, but for once I had my mouth guard in when hit, so I didn't lose any teeth. A valuable lesson was learned: I don't have a glass jaw. That's a good thing to know before stepping into a cage.

Today my neck is sore, really really sore. Having never taken a shot under the chin before, I can't say with certainty that it was---oh fuck it, there is no way it wasn't caused by the headbutt. My brains nearly popped out my skull. Always wear your mouthguard kids.

Motivation

For the last few weeks I've been lacking motivation for grappling. I've skipped more classes than I should have. I have a difficult time keeping a positive mindset. I'm dwelling on my deficiencies, and I try and try not to; but my god, there are days where it seems like I'm finding new weaknesses all the time, and not just that it seems like stuff I work on doesn't improve! This would be the basis for a great satire, a very cruel satire. I've been working on my fitness, but last wednesday, before I broke my toe, I really felt exhausted by a series of 3 minute stand/grapple drills. My heart was beating out of my chest. Why? I thought my cardio was better than that, not to mention my strength. Some of it is a matter of weight, but geez I'm always weaker guy!
It's hard to stay positive when you can't identify some sort of baseline positive! So I guess this was a venting session where I conclude by saying I have to focus on the little victories like doing a sweep while rolling (real) or hitting a major leg sweep on a much larger opponent (also real). Hell, the amount of energy it took for that major sweep surprised me. Any other minor victories of note? Um...well, I guess not breaking my toe is a major victory, heh. Anything else? My shrimp is improving...I have ACTUALLY submitted someone. I made it through a back escape drill with College Wrestler without getting tapped. It's a tall mountain.

Girlfriend comeback

Although we had fight over the weekend, Girlfriend is coming up my way. We've been debating going to the beach or going to a bread and breakfast. Hopefully, that will be the toughest decision I have to make this week.

The Toe Comeback

A week later my toe still looks like crap, and its still sensitive, but the swelling subsided and movement has (mostly returned). Doing any kind of agility work is still uncomfortable. I'm still going to BJJ tonight, but I'll have to take it easy if we do take down drills (Suddenly the purple belt can't get enough of 'em). I'll be wearing shoes for whatever that's worth.

Toe Update

Am able to partially bend my little toe, and I'm not limping as much. The chances of a mere jam seem to be going up.

Broken Toe (?)

As I told my girlfriend, getting injured is really frustrating. I feel guilty for leaving practice. As if doing so calls my discipline and devotion into question, but that's silly. Is partially because I was receiving my usual asswhippin'? (To be fair I did a couple things right, I scored a take down via sweep ((major leg sweep--Oni gushi??)) I shrimped properly and although I got in serious do do in the last 3 minute roll* no one submitted me))
What I need to work on, in respect to gui, is not getting married to any one grip. You can't collar choke someone if you don't let go of a pistol grip, and I need to figure out which sub to go for in relation to particular guard passes.
But man was I overpowered, it's really difficult for to tell if I am developing grapple strength because everyone else always seems much much stronger than me (even the one guy who is smaller than me, but granted he is unusually strong for his size, to the point I don't think the larger guys realize how strong he is).
These of course are my usual concerns.

If the toe is merely jammed I should be fine within a couple of days. If it is broken, a nurse estimated approximately 6 to 8 weeks. I don't know what I'd do with myself. The idea of sitting out practice that long scares me. It makes me feel weak; moreso, it makes me feel impotent. I KNOW I need to rest the foot, but I have a hard time convincing myself to actually take that advice. I've always been obssessive about exercise, but I think since the rape--that's what it was not a robbery not an assault it was a rape damnit--the idea of helplessness has become particularly terrifying. Isn't it funny? In BJJ, I am rarely if ever in control--maybe that's why I got frustrated so offten--but I keep coming back to it, while the idea of being unable to go to BJJ nullifies any control what so ever...well it's not just BJJ it's the threat of not being able to do ANYTHING: crossfit, jkd,bjj, hell I can't even do a body flow or yoga class because I need that damn toe for balance!

Tomorrow I will go to my morning workout at the dojo. I am creative. Sifu knowledge of exercise is deep. There are plenty of BJJ drills I can do that don't require me to put weight on the foot. I will get through this. I've made it through worse, much much worse. BUT I HAVE TO STAY OFF THE FOOT TODAY



**Wednesday now has a begginner BJJ gui class conducted by our no longer MIA purple belt.

Fuck

I may have broken my little toe; if I'm lucky it's just a nasty jam. I'm quite upset.

A typical day

Not much happening, craziest thing I did was buy a pack of Big League Chew Sour Apple. I love sour candies and gum, but lemme tell ya, most of this stuff is merely tart. When I want sour I expect sour!


Otherwise it's another long night at the dojo. Thankfully today's crossfit workout was light: 30 sit-ups. 25 back extensions, 5 rounds for time. Yesterday's was killer: 800 meters four times. And then Sifu decided to do lots and lots of agility and plyometric work in kickboxing, ugh!

Random BBJ note: I think my basic sweep is finally improving, I used it in a warm up rolling session, now If I can just develop some consistency in the execution.